The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
My vagina just clenched in fear
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
