69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
