I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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