HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
