Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
