I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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