I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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