I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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