you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
