Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
