The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
