Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
