Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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