pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
