I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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