Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
