My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
