im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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