apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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