I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
