At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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