i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
