you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
