He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
