I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
