We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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