So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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