it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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