I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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