Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
