why didn't you poke me back
he wants to bone in the snuggie
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
