Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
No subtext here. People are naked.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
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