If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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