sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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