Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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