I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
