You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
