i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
