Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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