We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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