And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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