please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
