I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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