Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
and she was petting her beer can
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
