we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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