sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
My balls are so social today.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
