Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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