I just saw a hot homeless man
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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