What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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