So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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