I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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