so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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