I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
